


Early Inconvenience

by Whoblewboobear



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoblewboobear/pseuds/Whoblewboobear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The guilt of the past washes over Louis like a tidal wave flooding his senses until he's nothing but the guilt he possess. When the one he hurt is thrust back into his life he can either hide from it like he always has or face his demons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Early Inconvenience

“We had it all once.” Louis slurred as he took a long sip of his whiskey and clumsily placing it back on the table. Niall nodded, knowing exactly where this was headed. He did this every week, drowning himself in alcohol and his past. The pain beginning to wash over him like a tidal wave flooding his senses. The liquor failing to numb the wounds, only to rip them back open leaving him raw and bloody on the inside. His past was something he couldn't escape no matter how many drinks he downed to keep the roaring voices in his twisted mind at bay, they'd still be waiting behind every door, corner, and shadow, ready to rip him to shreds.

  
“But I had to fucking ruin it!” Louis spat, the self hatred dripping off his words like toxin. “But you know the worst part?” he continued staring blankly at the glass in front of him, “He couldn’t remember a fucking thing.” he said, the words falling flatly from his lips, letting out a morbid chuckle. He had told himself countless times that it was best Harry couldn’t remember. It still hurt him to the core that Harry, the one person he’d take a bullet for, was the one caught behind his trigger. The dam had finally burst, hot tears flooded down his cheeks. His loud, broken sobs echoing through the tiny pub, catching the attention of a few onlookers. The regulars we’re used to it though, besides it was 2 am, the usual time the rundown and broken come to drown themselves in their sorrows with a nice drink. “What’s wrong with me, Ni?” The man question, his voice breaking mid sentence. Niall frowned, as he pulled the smaller man into his chest, rubbing non constant patterns onto his back. He didn't like seeing Louis hurting, but he had to be there for him at his lowest, no matter how much it hurt to see someone who could be so bubbly and happy switch to sad and self loathing within a matter of time. It was hard on all of the lads after the accident which is why Liam and Zayn had dumped the empty and broken shell of a human being they once called their best friend. Louis didn't mind much though. As much as it hurt he knew someone had to pick up the pieces he’d left behind.

  
“Lou.” Niall states sympathetically, pulling the broken man closer, encompassing him into his warmth. “I think we’d better head home.” he finishes, sliding out the booth and rising out his seat. Louis nodded, stumbling to his feet and faltering behind Niall out onto the humming streets of London. The city lights blinking back at them as they walk down the sidewalk in silence, the only sounds disrupting the quiet are passing taxi’s and Louis’ occasional sniffle or whimper, his body hidden beneath Niall’s side.

 

❅

Harry lay in bed his eyes locked on the ceiling fan spinning above him, much like the cloudy thoughts storming in his head, leaving him wide awake. He sighed, turning to steal a glance at the clock on his bureau.

_2:37AM._

He sighed, knowing only one thing could hush the thoughts in his head, he reached out opening his top drawer and pulling out a thin, brown leather book with scribbles he’s forgotten the meaning to. Drawing out a stray black pen, opening the book and turning to the next crisp white page,

_His soft blue eyes, peering back at me_  
 _dancing like the ocean rolling upon shore,_  
 _his love crashing upon me like the harsh waves_  
 _Stealing me from shore,_  
 _drowning me in hope for a lasting love_  
 _filling my lungs with his caring words and kind eyes_  
 _encompassing me in his tenderness_  
 _numbing me with his gentle and tempting touch_  
 _He’s my ocean, lulling me to sleep_  
 _rocking me gently_  
 _my mind drifting with his ocean waves_

He finishes placing his book and pen beck where they belong, and falling back into the warmth and serenity of his bed. His mind continued to tango with the thought of the riddling soul who took over his thoughts when silence or boredom fell in the splitting hours of the early morning.  
He could never fathom who the person capturing his thoughts was but they were so familiar to him. They were also the only thing that gave him a sense of normalcy since the accident. He did have a name though, Louis, he only knew this because it was written on countless pages of his journal. It gave him a flutter of hope of trying to remember the good times he’d had before the accident. The thoughts were the only thing that kept him sane through the rough times of recovery. Everyone had told him it was just an illusion he’d thought up during recovery to keep him anchored but he’d dismiss them. Besides its where it’s gotten him today after all.  
Harry sighed as he sat up, figuring he wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight, swinging his long legs over the side of the bed, and trailing off to the kitchen.  
“Couldn’t sleep either, hm mate?” Liam said cooly from the counter he was perched atop. Harry only nodded, pouring himself a cup of tea from the awaiting kettle and sliding up next to Liam.  
“Li? ” he breathed, fumbling with the handle of his favorite mug. Liam raised his eyebrows at Harry, “Yea, mate?” Harry let out a shaky breath, as he places his cup down, and begins tugging at the waistband of his boxers.  
“Who is Louis?” Liam stared back at him his soft eyes flashing flashing coldly before going back to the soft brown Harry knew so well. “H-he-,” Liam sighs scrubbing a hand down his face, “ I knew you’d want to know one day,” his voice falters, as he steals a glance at Harry. “Harry, he, uh-” Liam paused, his voice getting caught in his throat. There was so much Harry didn't know, so much he wanted to keep him away from. Behind all the love and romance Harry had conjured up in his mind was the very reason he couldn’t remember.  
Harry stared back at him patiently waiting for Liam to continue, his wide eyes, unblinking and hopeful. Liam cleared his throat.  
“He hurt you, Harry.” Liam stated, his eyes falling to the floor as he avoided Harry’s eyes. Harry shook his head in disbelief, “Stop kidding Li, I really want to know.” Harry pushed, a slight tinge of hope clinging to words.  
“Harry, he broke you, he made you hurt yourself, and thats why you can’t remember.” Liam sighed as he slid off the counter and left the room only to return with a thin book much like his own brown one. “If you don’t believe me. Then, see for yourself.” Liam said, a quiet hand stretching to pass Harry the book. He looked at Liam hesitantly, before reaching out to grab the book, and opening to the first page, it was in his handwriting, he raised his eyebrows at Liam before flipping through the book until, one entry that stood out to him.

 

_February 23rd, 2010_

_He hit me today._

_He told me he’d never hurt me, Never. But it isn’t his fault, he wasn't himself. he came home drunk and when I asked him where he was he yelled at me to mind my business and went into the room. He came back out a little later when I was finishing my homework and told me he wanted me even though I told him I wasnt ready before. His eyes went dark and he said that’d I’d better listen to him, but I told him I wasn’t ready again,. That's When he Hit me. After that his eyes went that soft blue I like and he said that he was sorry, that he’d never hurt me again. I told him it was okay. After that he promised he’d never do it again, then went to bed. When he was gone, I went into the bathroom, Where I am now, and cut again, it’s only my second time, Louis doesn't know though. I think he’d get mad at me again so I’ll keep it a secret. I’m still in the bathroom writing. i’d better clean up and get to bed so he can hold me. Thats when I know Louis loves me most. When I’m wrapped in his arms, and he plays with my hair and tells me i’m beautiful. Well goodnight, I’ll write more tomorrow._  
 _Love, Harry_

Harry’s eyes widened  at the words he’s just read. His shaky finger rubbing over the dried blood on the page.

“No, Li, this can’t be right.” He shook his head, looking back up at Liam, his brown eyes emitting with sadness.

“Harry.”

Harry shook his head frantically, closing the book and sitting it on the counter.

“Li, I would never cut!, and h-he wouldn't, he’d never!” Harry said his hands shaking. Liam swallowed thickly, and cleared his throat, “Harry, it only got worse from there. He abused you and your cutting got worse, until-” Liam choked out, hot tears scorching the back of his eyes. “Until you, tried to commit suicide.” Liam let out shakily, his eyes falling to the floor.

“Tried?” Harry was still trying to connect the dots, unfortunately coming up short. Liam nodded slowly, “You had downed a bottle of painkillers, but he found you before you were gone, Thank god.” Liam said steadily, “The doctor said the painkillers had screwed with your memory, that’s why can’t remember some things. He said that it would take a while for you to remember so he sent you to rehab to recover from your cutting.” Harry nods, “I remember rehab.” he said slower than usual, “Thats when I started to see him.” Liam nodded, “if you want to know more, you have everything in there.” Harry sighed looking over at the book, then back at Liam, “What happened to him?” Harry questioned, he needed to know or the curiosity would eat away at him. “He uh, he’s a theater professor at London Academy for Music and Dramatic arts, and lives here in London with Niall.” Harry nodded, only vaguely remembering the excitable irish lad. “Do you still see him?” Liam nodded, “Yea, I still see them both around town.” Liam started, moving around the question. “infact I had seen Niall just the other day.” Harry rolled his eyes, Liam and Niall were always close, it wasn’t his fault that Louis had done something truly terrible to Harry, so why lose touch when it wasn’t his fault. “Liam.” Harry whined, Liam sighed, “Ok, I saw him at the shop yesterday, He had asked if you were ok, I told him yea. Then he told me that if, uh, if you remembered, he wanted you to know he’s sorry.” Harry’s eyes lit up, gleaming with hope.

“What was he like, Li? Well you know, before the bad things happened.” Liam nodded walking towards Harry, picking up the book and flipping through to a thick pocket taped to the back and pulling out a stack of pictures. “Here.” he stated, passing the stack to him. Harry nodded taking the stack and Picking a picture with the words “Boobear & Hazza” written on the back. He giggled “God, he’s beautiful, Li,” he states, flipping through more pictures with silly titles, varying from him with Louis to him with the other lads. Only one thing spun in his weary mind,

“Li, why did I start cutting?” he questioned, his voice soft. Liam looked up at him, sadness flashing in his eyes once more. “Well, after you had came out, people were jerks and assholes, and it started to get to you. It got to Louis too, which is why he started to drink.” Liam’s voice trailing off. he only nodded. Beginning to understand.

“C’mere.” Liam began, leading Harry to the couch, “I’m gonna tell you about him.” Harry smiled his dimples peeking through, as he settled into Liam’s side, pulling Liam’s batman blanket over the both of them.

“okay.” Harry sighed. Liam nodded,

“Back in school Lou was big on theater, he’d wanted to be an actor. So this one time our school was putting on Grease, and Louis being the theater geek he was got lead role as Danny. He had dragged all of us out to see him star in the show. You cheered so hard you’d lost your voice mid show like the devoted boyfriend you were.” Liam chuckled fondly, “Like every time Zayn, Niall, or I would talk you’d be a twat and shush us during Louis’ parts” Harry smiled hiding his face in Liam’s chest. “And um, when the play was over, Lou, came back on stage with a rose and told everyone in the room to hush because he had an announcement, that tosser, he stood in the middle of the stage and then called out ‘MARRY ME HARRY!, ‘CAUSE IT RHYMES!” Liam could barely hold in his laughter. Harry could feel his cheeks heating up, a giggle escaping his lips.

“He sounds amazing.” Harry yawned snuggling closer into Liam’s chest.

❅

“Yes, Liam. I have the milk. Stop being such a donut.” Harry chuckled into his phone before slamming into someone. “ ‘m sorry lemme help you-” Harry said, his eyes meeting the person he’d bumped into. Harry gasped, his eyes wide and mouth hung open.

“Louis.” He breathed. The smaller man in front of him looked almost as shocked as he did.

“I’m sorry.” Louis squeaked out, he couldn't believe who was standing before him, the person he’d loved with all his heart only to hurt him.

“It’s fine, Lou. Besides I'm the one who bumped into you.” he chuckled handing the man his skittles. Louis shook his head taking the candy. “No, I-I’m sorry for, hurting you.” He blurted out, warm tears pressing the back of his eyes. There was so much he wanted to say but he didn't want to scare him off. Harry only nodded, encompassing Louis into a hug.

“Would you like to come to a football match with Liam, Zayn, and I?, Li, told me how much you love footie?” Harry asked not taking any chances. He wasn’t going to lose Louis this time around, even if it wasn't his fault the last time around. He was taking a massive risk on Louis and he hoped it will be worth it.  Louis looked up, his blue meeting Harry’s familiar green. Reminding him of the field Harry had loved taking him to when they were younger. His mind began drifting off wondering if Harry could remember their first date, when He’d had dragged him to the woods to a gorgeous waterfall they'd shared their first kiss by.

“Doncaster vs. Derby?” Louis questioned, the only words stopping him from screamings apologies or confessing his love for Harry and begging for forgiveness once more. Harry nodded confidently.

“I’m going with Niall, but I could meet up with you there, yea?” Louis asked not wanting to overstep his newly formed boundaries. Harry smiled his dimples poking through just the way they used to, causing Louis hate himself even more for ever hurting  someone as beautiful as Harry.

“Great!, i’ll see you there, Lou.” Harry said happily, engulfing Louis into a tight hug before disappearing down and isle. Louis let out a sigh of relief and dropping his candy on the counter.

“Your total is one pound, sir.” Louis nodded towards the cashier and handing her the money. “Thanks.” he finished grabbing the candy and fleeing the store and going to his car.

_

“What the hell am I gonna do, Ni? I fucking hurt him, and he can hardly remember.” Louis let out frantically. His head was spinning and the thoughts of how he hurt Harry were the cause. Niall shook his head as he placed his hand on Louis’ shoulder.

“Calm down, just try to have fun, Tommo. Its not like the you two will be alone. Zayn, Li, and I will be right there with you. Just like old times.” The joyous lad stated as he clapped Louis on the back reassuringly.  Louis shook his head, running a nervous hand through his carmel locks.

“Yea, like that’ll be any better. I haven’t spoken to Zayn since he and Liam started dating and Liam hates me for fucks sake.” He huffed, taking a seat on the couch. Niall shook his head and took a sip of his pint.

“Lou, were going to a footie game, it's your day off, and you're spending it with all of your old time best mates. Enjoy it.” Niall finished and disappeared down the hall and into his room, and that was that.

_Enjoy it?_

How in the bloody hell was he supposed to enjoy it when he was practically placing himself in the lions den and dancing around screaming, "Come and get it!" He might as well be a piece of meat putting himself in such an idiotic situation. Someone remind him again why he even agreed to this suicide mission anyway? 

Oh, right. _Harry._

"Enjoy it." he whispered quietly to himself. It is for Harry after all.

 

 


End file.
